Yes, the NBA has mob ties

Chauncey Billups and a whole lot more

The indictment. MICHAEL M. SANTIAGO/GETTY IMAGES

In a perfect world, current NBA head coach and player names would not be on a federal indictment alongside comedy villain names like “Flappy” Awawdeh, Matty “the Wrestler,” Thomas “Juice” Gelardo, “Albanian Bruce,” and “Pookie.”

“Let’s not, you know, mince words,” said FBI director Kash Patel, mincing words just a little at a press conference in New York. “This is the insider trading saga for the NBA. That’s what this is.” The investigation is ongoing.

One indictment outlines a sports gambling scheme wherein players like Johntay Porter and Terry Rozier allegedly conspired with bad people to make sure certain prop bets fell a certain way. They did this, for instance, by leaving games early with injury.

Someone named as “Co-Conspirator 8,” whose biography matches Blazer head coach Chauncey Billups’ perfectly, allegedly had a relationship with Eric “Spook” Earnest and allegedly told Earnest, before it was public, that the Blazers would sit key…